Outer space thingies and SAR dudes.

Now that Beth has nicely taken care of an update, I'll nerd out a little on technical matters.

That map thing you see over there is automagically generated by Spot, which is our satellite messaging service.  It's a small device with a GPS unit in it that can communicate with satellites in outer space.  Yeah, I know.  In addition to being able to interface with a smart phone, so we can type messages, it also has a panic button.  If you pull back the little cover and press the red SOS button, you will be swept up into outer space to a beautiful satellite where you will be immersed in a calming environment of safety and serenity. (I'm not sure everyone gets this treatment but I'm pretty sure I paid extra for the 'happy abduction package.')  Well, maybe we don't get to go to outer space but the message does, and it keeps going and taking with it our exact location until the batteries die.  At that point, some serious dudes in black suits, two miles underground in a nuke-proof bunker in Arizona will start pressing buttons and talking calmly into headsets, in whatever language necessary, to local authorities who will sweep in, shoot all bad guys within a predetermined radius, and pat us on the heads and tell us that we'll be okay.  (Or they'll help us change our tire and chastise us about the dangers of wolf-crying.)  

We did opt for the expanded Search and Rescue insurance.  This is an added package which provides private SAR if the local authorities are deemed inadequate for the task.  I imagine these guys as black fatigue wearing, night-vision having, silenced-gun packing, multi-skilled badasses who are taking some much needed time off from terrorizing America's enemies to come rescue pansies like me lollygagging around tropical countries. I don't think they'll be impressed by me in some sarong and a cowboy hat armed with a pocket knife trying to fend off bad guys, but hey! - you work for me! Shut up SAR dudes and get to work slaying my enemies. I need to get back to my snorkeling.

All of this is an added expense that provides an extra measure of chill for paranoid travelers such as myself.  I'll probably look back after this trip and see it as wasted money, but that is the nature of all insurance, and I guess that'll be a gamble I'll have won no matter which way it goes down.

One very handy feature, that's useful even if nothing bad happens, is the messaging feature.  We can send very short text messages which update the map with locations.  These messages are only 41 characters, which make tweets look positively verbose.  You'll probably have to consult with your niece or the interwebs to disambiguate the messages - I'm trying new shorthand to squeeze in as much information as possible.  The problem, for now at least, is that these messages are hard to find.  To see them, you have to click 'full screen' on the map.  Then you'll see a list of messages on the left, click the plus sign next to messages and you'll see the short message below it.  These notes will either have information about where we're heading or let folks know we're fine, but they may also be about important matters such as "Beer Supply Low" or "Tad Warm but Beach Far Away and Sand Hot."  I just posted a message from here that went to outerspace and back in no time.

 The SPOT beacon is one of the safety precautions I've obsessed over. There are others.  In addition to a selection of small, probably ineffectual and legally questionable weapons squirreled away in various places in the rattlevan, I've also made a saferoom of sorts in the bathroom. It's more like a 'safe-ish room' as it's not
 bullet proof and will only stop someone from opening the door if they're more interested in robbing us than kidnapping us, but at least it's more secure than it was. I guess the idea is that if someone wants to rob the rattlevan, they can do it while we cower inside the safe-ish room.  (I suppose there must be a group of low-aspiration robbers out here somewhere who see the rattlevan as a target for more than ancient Toyota auto parts and brown shag carpeting - who knows?)  Maybe the idea, actually, with the safe-ish room was hey - this'll be a fun project for me to work on, I can weld some stuff and drill some stuff.  It was fun and if it ever did come in handy, I'd get to feel like a hero who built something that saved our lives.  That'd be awesome.